Author: Jeniffer Grant

M/M incarnation: Gay Monsters Backyard Beast by John Ellison

backyard beast

What What: An eighteen-year-old girl with ambitions to marry someone “moderately wealthy” so she can leave her parents’ house has her sights set on the next-door neighbour, who obligingly morphs into some kind of red monster and has sex with her in the yard.

Money Quote:

Regardless, it looks like I was right about him having some kind of secret, but come the fuck on, he’s a shape-shifting monster of some sort now?! (17%)

Or possibly this one:

Now that we were in reverse cowgirl, well at least a variant of the position as his cock was jammed up the wrong whole, his hands had full excess to the front side of my tight buddy. (61%)

Yes, that’s three spelling errors in a single sentence.If that doesn’t throw you out of the mood, the sudden tense shifts might; the story bounces carelessly between present and past, on one glorious occasion achieving that mid-sentence:

He didn’t encumber himself with the thought that I might possibly be uncomfortable, or that maybe he’s being too rough. (53%)

I have no idea what kind of monster he is, other than a red one with sharp teeth. I couldn’t picture him or the narrator (although I know she has large breasts), but that wasn’t nearly as big a drawback as the lack of editing.

I have every sympathy with the reality that these things are written to earn money, and the authors don’t want to cut into their earnings by hiring editors, but for the love of porn: please have a grammatically-minded friend look them over.