Why yes, I am beginning to regret some of my life choices. Thank you for asking.
Title: Turned Gay by the Living Alpha Diner
Author: Chuck Tingle
WhatWhat: Lars, a lean, clean-shaven twenty-year-old trucker planning to eventually go to college, meets a gay diner named Turk Dorby, and they have sex that will haunt my nightmares for weeks.
Quotes help make sense of things, right?
On the night I met Buck, I was starved for interaction. (loc 14)
So starved he’s delirious, I guess, because no one named Buck appears in this story.
For some reason I find myself looking away, slightly taken aback by the restaurants confident demeanor.
That’s the thing you’re taken aback by? Not the fact that the diner has a face, and just made eye contact with you?
Personally I’m taken aback by the missing apostrophe, but I soldier on bravely.
Again, I find myself reeling from a mysterious attraction deep down in the pit of my stomach, a sensation that I am vaguely familiar with… (loc 41)
I’m familiar with it too! But in my case that’s because I read way too many stories called “something or other turned me gay.”
I can feel my cock hardening just below the table, aching for release within my pants at the thought of these well crafted burgers and fries. (loc 62)
Man, I hope the waitress tasers him.
But of course she doesn’t, because he’s caught the eye of the diner itself, and after a few moments of awkward conversation he goes up on the roof to have sex with it, then down to the basement to have sex with another part of it, and then out back to have sex with yet another part of it. I don’t want to quote too heavily from the sex scenes, because they are hilarious and you should really read the story to appreciate them properly.
But let’s just agree that a cum-saturated man dashing through the dining room on his way out back to look for the diner’s ass is the kind of scene that more than earns Chuck his 70% of the $2.99.
“Do it!” Turk commands. “Blast that cum into my hot gay restaurant ass!” (loc 258)