I’m reading this as a kind of palate cleanser, to recover from the SPAG errors in a lot of the self-pubbed erotica I read. Fannie Tucker is always entertaining and literate, so I went in with high expectations. (It’s a sad comment on my reading life that “Ravaged by the Gingerbread Man” can be described as a palate cleanser, but there you go.)

ravaged by the gingerbread man

Title: Ravaged by the Gingerbread Man

Author: Fannie Tucker

WhatWhat: Kara accidentally makes 100x more of a gingerbread recipe than she intended to, so with the extra dough she makes a giant gingerbread man to use as a window display; he comes to life and strange sex ensues.

Let’s Just straight-Out Ruin Your Childhood:

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! As hard as I can! I’m gonna pound you, I’m the gingerbread man!”

Quibble: I know fifteen minutes is loads of time to bake regular cookies, but wouldn’t a man-sized one take longer?

Money Quote:

…to savor the way his fat loaf felt when it rammed into her… (loc 154)

His fat loaf. Great, now I’ve been mentally scarred for life by a euphemism.

Verdict: Never trust a woman who intends to break your penis off and eat it (not in the fun way) before using you as window dressing. But seriously, this was amusing and strangely hot in spite of the nightmarishness, and now I’m hungry. It’s available on Kindle Unlimited, if you have that, and worth the cover price anyway. It ends at the 72% mark, though (location 212 of 302), and the rest of the pages are “about the author” and samples of other stories and so forth.