Title: Glazed by the Gay Living Donuts

Author: Chuck Tingle

The truly creative part is that he doesn't penetrate the donuts. I guess that would be too predictable.
The truly creative part is that he doesn’t penetrate the donuts. I guess that would be too predictable.

WhatWhat: Mike makes contact with the secret world of gay donuts, and participates in a stage show where a bunch of them ejaculate on him.

…What? Sorry. Can’t help you.

The entire time I was reading this I kept thinking of those Beach Party movies with Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon, and I’m not sure why. The secret subculture? The teens on the beach? No idea.

Anyway. Mike and his friends, wanting to do something more adventurous on their Californian road trip than just tanning on the beach, penetrate the underground society of doughnut depravity. I only mean “penetrate” in the figurative sense, because no penetration takes place in this.

Chuck Gets Deep:

The truth is, where you are doesn’t change who you are on the inside, and our group is coming face to face with the fact that, deep down, we might just be really boring gay men. (loc 20)

Money Quote:

Immediately, two freshly baked maple bars approach me, taking their friend’s place. These pastries are equally hung, and with a newfound ferocity and a face full of cum I start to expertly suck them off. (loc 200)

This raises so many questions. Does “freshly baked” imply these are underaged doughnuts? Do these things live a short, passion-filled life and then get eaten in the non-fun way? Someone needs to do a nature documentary, stat.

Verdict: I don’t even know anymore. I think I’ve achieved addict status on the whole Chuck Tingle phenomenon; I just Kindle Direct them automatically now. The phrase “their tiny baked hands” will stay with me a long time, that’s for sure.