Title: Taken by the Tetris Blocks

Author: Leonard Delaney

This guy has the best “about the Author” page I have ever read. Seriously. “He writes from the heart instead of wasting time with research or experience.” Golden. I kind of love him now.

taken by the tetris blocks

I used to love Tetris, but NOT IN THAT WAY. Until I saw this story, I hadn’t realized anyone did love them in that way.

But, you know: they’re Russian, they’re smarter than a lot of people I know, they’re familiar yet mysterious. I can see it.

WhatWhat: Christie doesn’t get a promotion at Squawker Media, but a z-shaped Block with a thick Russian accent comes on to her, so she has sex with it

This Fucking Must Be On Purpose:

Christie looked in the mirror and adjusted her glasses. She noted that her hair was red and her eyes were grey. (loc 1)

“Actually, it was not about ethics in video game journalism.” (loc 62)

Money Quote:

“Yeah, fill my gap,” she moaned. (loc 120)

Verdict: That was hilarious and awful and self-aware, which is two more things than Fifty Shades managed, so you should definitely read it.