Title: Mummy in my Butt
Author: Hunter Fox
Other version: Billionaire Mummy Likes Booty by Whitney Fox
WhatWhat: After his boyfriend cheats on him, Sean takes off to France where he’s picked up and seduced by a well-endowed mummy (the Egyptian kind, obviously).
I see the Chuck Tingle school of “explain nothing, just write it” is catching on:
I looked up and noticed a mummy standing over me, holding a bottle of beer. (loc 76)
To be fair, that doesn’t come ENTIRELY out of the blue, because there’s already a strong hint that we’re in an alternate universe (where there are still pharaohs).
I knelt down and took him in my mouth, kissing the tip of his ancient cock. (loc 141)
Yeah, I dated an older guy once too. It was just like that, only without the redeeming “billionaire” feature.
Speaking of which, these were also a strong contenders for most memorable line:
I swallowed what was left of him, tasting the sweet mummy seed of my billionaire lover. (loc 163)
I reached back, grabbing and massaging his cloth covered balls, trying to please him to the fullest. (Billionaire Mummy Likes Booty, loc 177)
Verdict: You should probably make up your mind whether you want the gay mummy sex or the straight mummy sex, because even if you download both versions (which yes, I did, but you may not have my problems) whichever one you read first will feel like the “real” version, and the other one will feel like its the Twilight Zone version. You’re only going to enjoy the humor inherent in this stuff once, really, so choose wisely.