Title: In the Grip of the Alpha Poutine

Author: Twisty McCox

in the grip of the alpha poutine

WhatWhat: Hoping for success in the fast food industry, Gord (I am actually dying of Canadiana right at this moment. GORD. This could not get more perfect.) goes looking for the fabled Alpha Poutine in the Quebec wilderness. It makes greasy, sexual use of him, which apparently guarantees his success.

This is the most Canadian thing I have read in…ever. Nothing could actually be more Canadian unless someone finds me a story where a hockey player gets buggered by a Double Double. To be honest I’m still having trouble believing this EXISTS.

Also, the “about the author” note at the back rivals Leonard Delaney’s “about the author” notes.

ALSO, I just realized both Delaney and McCox are Canadian. Weird. Is there some kind of Canadian Kindleporn Renaissance afoot?

Money Quote:

He thrashed frantically as the fries of the beast roamed across his prone form, exploring his body with their starchy, sticky touch and tearing his clothes to shreds until he was nude for its inspection, held firm on his hands and knees by a sticky mass of gravy, fries and cheese, his ass exposed. (loc 33)

Verdict: This could not be more perfect. Well, the quote above could have an Oxford comma; that would be more perfect. But let’s not get deliriously picky here. This is the best-written poutine erotica you’re going to find.