Title: Forbidden Unicorn Bae

Author: Whitney Fox

forbidden unicorn bae

M/M version: Unicorn made me His Bae by Hunter Fox

WhatWhat: Sophie finds her boyfriend and best friend cheating on her, calls her childhood unicorn friend Logan to defend her, and ends up having sex with him.

What’s a Nice Apostrophe Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

She had continuously told me about other guys or unicorn’s in town that had been crushing on me. (loc 36)

I Can’t Quite Picture This:

“I’ll be fine.” I said back, reaching out an patting his furry leg which held onto the steering wheel. (loc 81)

“I always knew he was a little prick.” Logan said, rolling his window down and letting his arm hang out. (loc 83)

So he’s driving with one leg while his arm hangs out the window? What?

Ow:

…playing with me with one hoof… (loc 176)

Verdict: The somewhat trashy confrontation at the beginning, and then the arrival of ultra-masculine unicorn Logan (in a grey hoodie!) to defend Sophie’s honor, is a glorious scene. There are some nice little details (eye color; ejaculate color and…composition; the number of unicorns in their small towns) that I thought were excellent. I enjoy Fox’s plots; I just wish someone would beta-read them for punctuation, particularly of the dialogue.