After a longish break we’re back, and since it feels like spring today, let’s get some garden gnomes up in here.

garden gnome sex party

Title: Garden Gnome Sex Party

Author: Fannie Tucker

WhatWhat: Jenny buys three gnomes for her garden, and after dark discovers they’re more than ornamental. Includes penetrative gnome hats.

Money Quote:

Bimpo pressed his pudgy little body against the back of her thighs and nuzzled his face in her sex. Jenny cried out and writhed as he burrowed between her folds, kissing her smooth, wet flesh with his miniature. (loc 55)

Verdict: As always with Fannie Tucker stories, this is flawlessly written. It’s also hilarious, and now when people sneer at my phobia of garden gnomes I’ll have be able to show them this, with if it doesn’t make them sympathetic should at least scare them into shutting up.

Possible Drawback: The story ends at the 53% mark; the rest is advertising. I thought the story was as long as it needed to be, but for anyone who gets rage-y when they discover excerpts at the back: you’ve been warned.