Title: Bigfoot Pirates Haunt My Balls

Author: Chuck Tingle

bigfoot piratesWhatWhat: You know what, I’m just going to quote from the book description, because it tells you all you need to know except why:

When the most notorious bigfoot pirate, Lorko the Black, is killed off the coast of Santa Monica, a man named Andy begins to feel a mysterious throbbing in his balls. After a trip to the doctor, Andy soon learns that what seemed like a coincidence is actually an acute case of haunted balls, and the only prescription is a bigfoot ghost pirate gangbang!

Money Quote:

“But don’t get too excited.” Dr. Torp tells me. “You’re still in a world of trouble. I’m afraid your balls are haunted.” (loc 56)

I gasp in astonishment, completely blindsided by this revelation. “Lorko the Black has been gay this whole time?” I ask. “That’s amazing.” (loc 112)

Verdict: I am never going to get over how the main character calmly accepts “haunted balls” as a diagnosis, but then is completely shocked by the revelation that the ghost is gay. Right. Because that’s the shocking bit.