Title: Seduced by the Vacuum: a tale of lust and dust

Author: Celestia Dew

seduced by the vacuum cleaner

WhatWhat: Clara has returned to her grandparents’ summer cabin (now hers) for the first time since childhood, and the vacuum cleaner she used to pretend was alive decides to return her affections.

Money Quotes:

She came up every summer with her grandparents from the age of three to eleven. Then her grandfather’s stroke prevented the long lazy summer days. (loc 2)

She even fed it a few pennies once before her grandmother scolded her for possibly damaging it. Vacuum couldn’t be damaged, she thought at the time. He was powerful, invincible, capable of turning chaos into order. She admired him as a child, and even has a secret nickname for him, Vic. (loc 22)

“This is impossible,” she gasped as the hose snaked deep inside of her, withdrew, and plunged in again. (loc 93)


The vacuum latched onto her nipple eagerly and she groaned at the sensation of having her soft flesh sucked up into the vacuum hose. (loc 81)

Verdict: This is an oddly charming little story, with a slight emphasis on the “oddly.” Clara definitely has a better relationship with housework than I do. Maybe I should try naming the implements.