Title: Vampire Night Bus Pounds My Butt

Author: Chuck Tingle

vampire night bus

WhatWhat: Rick’s car got totalled, so he has to rely on Los Angeles public transit, and that’s even creepier than it sounds. A homeless guy tells him that Vlad 13, a night bus, is actually a vampire. And, to quote the expertly constructed summary on Amazon, “Soon, Rick finds himself in a gothic castle with a gay bus who want’s to suck more than just blood, in an erotic encounter that will have your heart racing.
Money Quotes:

Of course he thinks the living night bus is a vampire, this is exactly the type of racially insensitive thinking that has kept these sentient vehicles in the position they’re in, working minimum wage jobs without any real way to pull themselves out of the lower class. (loc 48)

“Welcome.” The bus says, opening the doors for me and revealing a giant entryway, which is large enough to fit the bus as he slowly wheels inside and closes the door behind us. (loc 154)

I have to say, I was relieved to see the (apparently rich) night bus could actually enter his own home. I haven’t stopped worrying about that jet plane, forever trapped outside his own mansion.

“Have you ever been with a city bus?” Vlad asks, rolling towards me slowly.

“Once.” I tell him. “In college.” (loc 192)

Verdict: I can’t say my heart actually raced, in spite of what I was promised in the summary. However, this did have a cute twist ending, and I was once again inappropriately reminded of Goosebumps. I hope there’s more in this vein (oops) from Tingle.