Title: Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide to Romance

Author: Chuck Tingle

dr chuck tingle's complete guide to romance

WhatWhat: The master of bizarre erotic romance featuring previously-stright dudes and, like, unicorns and jet planes and stuff, has written a self-help book. It’s the ultimate guide to romance, especially if you’re thinking about wooing a bogfoot or something.

Money Quote:

Even if your first date is at a restaurant, like many are, packing your own meal is still a good idea. Allow your date to order for their own meal, but show you are a man who knows what he wants by laying out whatever you prepared that morning for yourself. (loc 158)

That would make a memorable first impression, yes.

Nearby Areas:

Double penetration is an expert move performed by three partners. When this move is performed, two of the three lovers will insert themselves into a single butt simultaneously (or into nearby areas if a woman is involved). (loc 638)

Verdict: This was amazing. I hope it’s not Mr. Tingle’s last foray into self-help. The recipes were particularly…special. Also, the section on submissive romance showed a clearer grasp of the subject that Fifty Shades, so if you’re hung up on Christian Grey you might want to check Dr. Tingle’s guide.