Title: A Confederate Flag Turned Me Gay

Author: LeRoy Ned Malone

confederate flag turned me gay

WhatWhat: After an unforgettable blowjob through a flag-framed gloryhole, the narrator’s love of the Confederate Flag takes a turn for the erotic, and eventually, the man responsible for the blowjob shows up.

Money Quotes:

I first fell in love with the Confederate Flag when I encountered a small one in the stall of the locker room at the local gym. The flag was taped to the sidewall right above the toilet paper dispenser with a big hole cut right in the center of that beautiful starry blue X. (loc 18)

For the next ten minutes, I pummeled him like a jackhammer while he shouted the name of General Robert E. Lee. (loc 178)

Verdict: This is, honestly, a hard one to review. Parts of it were truly amusing. Had it been written by a genuine flag-lover with a twisted sense of humour, I’d have adored it. But the “If you are offended by this book, then you are either a bigot or you don’t understand satire” at the beginning makes it pretty clear that this isn’t wry, insider humour: this is just a jab at a certain breed of Southerner, because hey, why not kick downward.

Look, I’m not a bigot, I adore satire, and I’m so fucking far north that I’m in another country, and I still thought there was something mean-spirited about this. It’s easy enough to assume that everyone with an unpopular opinion (like clinging to a flag that, for the rest of us, has vile associations) must be hateful “horrible bigots” and therefore in need of mocking, but frankly I like my satire (and my erotica) to show a little more generosity of spirit.

By the end you’d almost succeeded in turning me southern, author, and I doubt that was your intention.