Title: Mounted by a Merman

Author: Cassidy Beach

mounted by a merman

WhatWhat: Cheated on by her boyfriend in the most humiliating manner possible, former sorority girl Stephanie joins the rest of the Delta Delta Deltas on their annual beach vacation and discovers their secret: hot, horny mer-people.

Money Quotes:

Susie was blonde like me. Like I said she wasn’t as hot as me, but she was still hot. (loc 17)

[Patrice] was decently good looking, but nowhere as good looking as I was, even though we were both blonde. I could tell she must have been the token “hot girl” in that clique of nerds…. Every time she opened her mouth, though, it was a dead giveaway what a clueless nerd she was. She sounded like she had Asperger’s. She snorted, and she was always pushing her glasses up her prettyish nose.(loc 65)

There Jake was, dressed up in costume as a grizzly bear. Underneath him was lying the one and only Patrice, dressed up in a pink bunny rabbit suit….(loc 97)

Verdict: Okay, Stephanie is kind of an asshole, but once Jake cheats on her I ended up taking her side anyway, and was relieved when she met the blue-dicked, muscular merman. Compulsively readable and enjoyable, even though the viewpoint character is obsessed with comparing herself to other women.