Author: Chuck Tingle
WhatWhat: “Pharma Bro” Marky Sharky has gotten rich by raising prices on prescription drugs and is now the most hated man in America. Thanks to an overlooked clause in the contract he signed, a group of dinosaur rappers (and comedian Bill Murky for some reason) show up on his doorstep for anal sex, and retrieve their one-of-a-kind album.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t hate puppies and blind orphans, I just know that they will spend a lot of money to not be in constant, brain-melting pain. (loc 16)
I laughed out loud at several points in this book, but it would have made equal sense to cry at the realization that the real world is just as awful as the world of that sentence, except without any justice-dispensing dinosaur celebrities.
He takes his time while I look on in arousal and confusion. (loc 100)
That could easily be describing the relationship between Chuck Tingle and the reader.
It appears that the dinosaurs weren’t expecting such a quick and enthusiastic validation of their legally binding clause, but they quickly fall into step with my passionate blowjobs, placing scaly hands on the back of my head and helping to pump me up and down. (loc 192)
I’ll just leave that there for you to ponder.
Verdict: At some point over the past year, I’ve started viewing current events through a kind of Chuck Tingle filter. Oh, not the really serious events like terrorism or sexual assaults, but all the things that fall halfway between “news” and pop culture: that dress, identity issues, the war on Christmas stuff, the American election (I know: that ought to feel like a serious issue, but somehow it doesn’t), online dating debacles, that hunter….
And it’s not that Dr. Tingle has anything profound to add to these issues. Mostly he just offers a reassuring statement of what the liberal-leaning parts of the culture think anyway, but wrapped in a shell of ridiculousness and sex. But that shell is like a candy coating that makes our world slightly more palatable, at least for a little while. So thank you, Dr. Tingle. Thank you.