Title: Weekend at Bernie Sanders

Author: Tina D. Harper

weekend at bernie sanders

WhatWhat: Someone REALLY hates Bernie Sanders. There’s no discernible plot. A crude caricature of a hippy has sex with Bernie Sanders while describing him in the most demeaning way possible, throwing in some drive-by sneers at Hilary Clinton for good measure.

Money Quotes:

He groaned as he kept thrusting his 3 and a half inch recently-circumsized member, into my loose hippy thighs. (loc 29)

Why have an ultra-successful businessman be in the oval office when you can have a senile man practically on his death bed continuing to exclaim “Free healthcare and education for everyone!” Like the broken record that he is? (loc 53)

We’d have to first wipe the cobwebs off of Hilary’s grey, stale, cave, bat and spider-infested pussy. (loc 79)

Speaking of Old Farts, he told me about the most recent debate; the one where he tried to let out a silent fart while splurting out rhetoric; and instead he diarrhea-shit his pants. (loc 102)

Verdict: This was ghastly. Not “so gross it’s funny.” Not “crude but entertaining.” This was weird creepy scatological hatred wrapped up in sexual imagery.

Look, I don’t actually like Bernie Sanders as a politician. I would personally never vote for him (or have sex with him). But this was so far into “I think you may have something mentally wrong with you, author” territory that I’m frankly horrified.

I’m not at all opposed to using sexual humour to mock politicians (I may actually have a Shameful Personal History of this myself), but just flinging out potty words and saying someone has a small dick is not particularly witty. I’ve run into this problem before, of authors letting their seething hatred (of hippies or of Confederate flag lovers) run an amusing concept into the ground.

The only slightly amusing thing about this was the title. It failed to live up to the title. I don’t understand how someone who knows how to use an apostrophe correctly on their cover can be so icky. Although the punctuation in the actual “story” sucked, so maybe someone else did the cover. Someone cleverer.