Author: Nicolette Dubois
WhatWhat: Paul Brown takes a gardening job, and his boss turns out to be Donald Trump, who fucks him.
What was strange to me as the fact that the entire office was covered with pictures of the famous, Donald Trump. (loc 47)
That comma functions as an early warning sign.
There were many stories about Mr. Trump but in those stories one thing remained the same; that he was gay. There were stories of him and the chauffeur, his gardeners and even the chef. I’ve read quite a bit of articles about the man but I couldn’t recall any that spoke about his orientation. Whether they were true or not, they had certainly left quite an impression on me. All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind. Was he good at it? (loc 61)
Do I have to summon the Space Grammarians?
That night when I retired to my cottage on the property I could not help but to think about shaggy looking blonde of trump he was. (loc 80)
I don’t think the Space Grammarians can help at this point.
Mr. Trump looked at me unequivocally before walking back behind his desk. (loc 96)
The erotic tension is well-nigh unbearable.
I had never had my cock sucked by a man before but Mr. Trump wasn’t just a man, he was also a billionaire. (loc 121)
The man formed a strange looking grin on his face, “You are my best fuck yet,” he said. (loc 156)
Verdict: It’s never a good sign when the words GAY EROTICA appear in the title in all-caps. I’m sympathetic to the need for discoverability, but come on. The full title of this thing is GAY EROTICA: Getting Thumped by Trump: The Billionaire & the Gardener: Gay Erotica, Romance, Boss, Parody, Political, Millionaire, MM First Time, Curious, Bisexual Erotic Short Story for Adults and I’m sorry, that’s just ridiculous.
Look, if you decide to write erotica, you need to make sure you can write. (You should also be concerned with whether your writing is erotic, but start with the writing part, because if you can’t communicate your ideas the reader will never be able to access your hot fantasies.) This isn’t in so-bad-it’s-good territory; it needs a sympathetic beta reader.