Title: Leonardo Dicaprico Finally Wins His Award and It Pounds Him in the Butt

Author: Chuck Tingle

leonardo dicaprio

WhatWhat: A deserving candidate FINALLY takes his award. This is a Chuck Tingle story, so he takes it up the arse, of course.

As a side note, it took me a full five minutes to remember the real actor’s name after reading this.

Money Quotes:

The Academy of Handsome Buckaroos is a powerful and deep rooted organization, formed over sixty years ago as a way for the Hollywood elite to congratulate themselves on their own handsomeness. (loc 23)

Most accurate description ever.

That movie, of course, was The Revenass, the harrowing tale of a handsome buckaroo lost in the snow for hours and hours after narrowly surviving a bigfoot attack. (loc 53)

I hear it was filmed here in Canada.

Driven mad with lust, I open my mouth wide and take the award’s shaft between my lips, bobbing up and down a few times before retracting him again. A long thread of saliva hangs from my lips and connects to the head of his enormous rod. (loc 196)

Sometimes I’m afraid that strand of saliva will appear in my dreams.

I carefully align the statue’s cock with my already reamed back down and then push download, letting out a long, low moan as my butthole stretches to surround his massive dick. (loc 240)

You align it with what and do what now?

Verdict: I might actually watch the damned Oscars if they were more like this.