Title: Cuckolded by Old Spice: Bigger Than Advertised

Author: Bibi Baxter

old spice

WhatWhat: Daryl’s wife Sandra is a witch, so she’s been switching it up for him in the bedroom, using her powers to morph into a variety of women. Now she wants a turn, except she can’t use her powers on another person, so she can’t change Darryl’s appearance. But she has an idea: she can create living avatars of the characters in commercials, and Daryl can watch.

Money Quotes:

“Oh for Pete’s sake, Daryl! How many times have I been some cute little giggling Asian chick, or ‘spicy Latina’ like you wanted?” she argued. (loc 64)

This author has a real knack for making me dislike the male point-of-view character, resulting in my not feeling sorry for him when he gets cheated on.

God, she was gorgeous. Why did I ever think switching it up was a good idea? Now I had to share her with the Keebler Elves or whatever. (loc 72)

michigan-keebler-cookies
Hmmmm.

I didn’t tell Sandra about any of it. It was probably best that she didn’t know my entire department, and apparently everyone in IT, had seen her getting it on with Mr. Clean and that Old Spice guy. (loc 288)

Verdict: Possibly a meditation on the mythic function of television advertising; possibly just an excuse for some inventive erotica. This was hilarious and wonderful. I especially appreciated Snap, Crackle, and Pop.  Also I’m having a sudden urge to buy Old Spice.