Actual Title: Pounded in the Butt by my book “Pounded in the Butt by my Book ‘Pounded in the Butt by my Book “Pounded in the Butt by my Book ‘Pounded in the Butt by my Own Butt'”‘”

Author: Chuck Tingle

pounded etc etc

WhatWhat: A powerful nanobot being arises and becomes author Chuck Tingle.

Money Quotes:

“Because it’s meaningless,” I counter. “I want to have meaning…maybe it’s the pornography inside of me, but I want to bring joy, pleasure, and sensation. I want to make the world feel something, even if that feeling is the sensation of getting pounded. ” (loc 83)

*sniffle*

The nanobots start to form clothes and, as they do, I picture a way to reflect my interests; to fit in. The hobby that i randomly generate is martial arts and I go with it, manifesting an outfit derived from a porn film that takes place in an erotic dojo. (loc 165)

An…erotic dojo?

“A son and a wife,” I start, “but let’s add some character. How about the wife was in a tragic accident?”

“That’s dark,” the raptor counters.

“That’s life,” I tell him. (loc 173)

The Barbara backstory never fails to worry me. So I guess it’s working.

Seriously, following the hints about his ‘family’ that Tingle drops on Twitter is what I do instead of watching soap operas.

“Do it,” I command. “Teach me what it’s like to be fucked by a simulation of my own story from the future.” (loc 245)

This is a thing that I’m sure we’ve all wondered about.

I smile, realizing that, even if I was to confess my little secret to the world, nobody would ever believe me. (loc 329)

I’m never going to sleep again.

Verdict: We are all Chuck Tingle. We joke about it, but that’s because we know it’s true.