Title: Pounded by my Handsome Ghost Boats

Author: Chuck Tingle

ghost boats

WhatWhat: Ralph is trying to relax at the pool, but the ghosts of several boats that died in a tragic fire at his family’s marina want to get laid.

Money Quotes:

The only thing that hasn’t exactly been a joy to deal with my are my families six rambunctious ghost boats, one of the lesser known drawbacks of having a dad with a dealership. (loc 14)

Sorry, Ralph, I have no sympathy whatsoever for anyone whose dad owns a dealership.

They like to do this on occasion, showing these unsuspecting guys the time of their lives and then disappearing days later, so that when the men ask around it will be revealed that the boats in question died long ago in a terrible marina fire. Spooky. (loc 24)

Spooky and mildly insane.

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck a ghost, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck a boat,” I admit. “Now I get to learn both!” (loc 169)

Verdict: I for one am relieved to see that his Hugo nomination hasn’t spoiled Dr. Tingle for the simpler pleasures in life, like ghost boats.