Title: Taken Hard by Gay Tentacles (Gay Genie Chronicles #21)

Author: Dick Rier

taken-gay-tentacles

WhatWhat: Kris is a warlock trying to defeat someone named Sean so he can return to Alex, the guy he loves.But Sean has, I don’t know, magic gems? And there’s a horny tentacle monster. Someone named Brad has something called a katar named Wetfang, does that help? Also the bad guy is the dean at their university, which adds a hilarious “frat movie” vibe to this whole thing.

Money Quotes:

Kris’s heart hammered in fear as his former Circle brother threw down a pink gem onto the stony floor of the cave. The gem shattered, flooding the room in brilliant, pink light. (loc 102)

OMG, its like an episode of Jem only with gay men. Or like an episode of Masters of the Universe with very few changes whatsoever.

Pain wracked through Kris, and he fell off of Sean. Kris forced through the pain to clutch at his leopard amulet. He chanted the counterspell, throwing off the pain. Something slimy and wet touched his leg. (loc 171)

I so badly want this to be a cartoon series for adults.

Andrew pulled up the SUV at the meeting spot. Alex climbed out, followed by his three husbands and Brad. The concubines crowded the door, peering out the door. (loc 191)

“The least he could be is on time,” complained Faraj, leaning on Heartflame, his yari. (loc 192)

I also want there to be a colouring book, which I will buy for myself and for everyone I know.

Verdict: Usually when erotica is part of a series, the stories are in fact only loosely connected by theme or kink, and you can read them out of order with no problem. That is not the case here, and I’m now wishing I’d downloaded #1 (whatever that was) and gone from there.

Honestly it was well enough written, and compelling enough, that I can’t rule out the possibility that I’ll download the whole thing and binge on them in their proper order. If it’s available in paperback form, I’m getting it. It’s baffling and delicious and I love it.