Things Moms Like: Classic old movie monsters like mummies. Also, some mothers like racecars, and most of them find archeology interesting.

But tbh I’m slipping this review in based entirely on it having “mummy” on the cover, even though I know it’s the other kind of mummy.

Title: I’m in Love with the Handsome Mummy Racecar in my Butt

Author: obviously Chuck Tingle, the two-time Hugo finalist

handsome mumm racecar

WhatWhat: Future archeologist Yeebs is having no luck searching the desert of what was once Daytona Beach for an ancient racetrack, but then he falls right into it, and meets a mummy racecar. Sexy times ensue.

Money Quotes:

It would be one thing if we had an actual map to go by, a concrete location to guide our search, but instead we’re out here chasing our own tails as we struggle to decipher an age old riddle etched into the rim of a faded plastic cup.

The cup itself was collected halfway across the country n another set of ruins, the crumbling shell of a building once known as 8-Eleven. (loc 9)

I wonder if Tim Hortons ruins survived as well, leaving future archeologists pondering Roll up the Rim?

I shake my head. “It appears you could buy tickets, but like I said, we don’t know if anything is real anymore. There were so many books, movies, video games…some of it was myth, like airplanes, and some of it was real, like Star Wars.” (loc 29)

Unsure if their lousy archeologists or this is how it works in the Tingleverse.

The entire vehicle is wrapped top to bottom with bandages, a terrifying mummy awakened from its ancient slumber. (loc 81)

Ah yeah.

The next thing I know, Winky is reaching over and grabbing onto my cock with his firm, mummy racecar grip, chuckling to himself playfully as I let out a startled gasp. (loc 144)

Verdict: I love you, Dr. Tingle. I specifically love how some of your stories remind me of Goosebumps, even while deviating from Goosebumps in just about every way possible.

This would be a great story to read while sitting around a campfire, assuming no children were present and you were camping with fellow Tingler appreciators. The framing device is particularly well done.