review: The Camp Tentacles

Title: The Camp Tentacles

Author: Lexi Lucia

camp tentacles

WhatWhat: Jasmine’s entire hometown has written her off, so she escapes to a “intensive study camp” where she discovers a group of her fellow campers have been enjoying themselves with a tentacle alien that feeds on “women’s pussy juice.” As opposed to men’s?

Totally Convincing Female Point of View:

The two guys were really hot, and I felt my pussy start to respond in my pants…(loc 60)

Back in the real world, on my bunk, I had cum with my hand. I got a tissue and cleaned up the mess. (loc 83)

Money Quote:

The beast had jammed tentacles into every pussy, asshole and mouth that was there, and it was plowing them at a tremendous pace. (loc 130)

Verdict: That’s a little more closeness than I’d want with my cabin mates, frankly, but I have to admit it would beat the hell out of arts-and-crafts on rainy days. Although I’m a little worried about the alien. Is it happy?

Grammarians from Space Forced Me to Write Properly (and also Turned Me Gay)

This isn’t a review, obviously*, but Grammarians from Space is now available from Amazon (and it’s on Kindle Unlimited, so you can read it for free if you have that).


Thing is, to create enough content to survive you have to write hard, fast, and often. I can’t afford fancy stuff like editors or cover designers.
Lately that had been bugging me. Maybe that’s why the Grammarians showed up to teach my virgin ass a lesson. A lesson about manhood, and standards.

I flash back to how helpless and horny she’d been, obediently locking her ankles behind my neck while I pounded her. Now I’m shivering and twitching, waiting for these alien men to use me the same way I used her. I’m an even sluttier, hornier cum-bucket than Candy was.

* Anything written by the authors associated with this blog can be promoted here, but not formally reviewed.

review: Gay Aliens: Reptilian Rampage

Author: John Ellison

gay aliens

Mirror Image: Dominated by Aliens: Reptilian Rampage by Jeniffer Grant

dominated by aliens

WhatWhat: Three reptilian aliens abduct Mark, and sexually “test” him for a client, warning him that the fate of the entire Earth depends on the client’s approval.

Issues: There’s a misplaced sentence on the second page (it looks like a line from a sex scene got dropped into the wrong spot, somehow), and tense shifts all over the damned place.

I waved my arms around and tried to swim out, but that was completely futile. I guess I should just obey these guys. (loc 40/19%)

Also, why not just say “it looked like a dildo”? Clarity is your friend, authors.

If I wasn’t mistaken, it looked like what I would imagine an alien dildo to look like. (loc 47/22%)

There’s also this:

He fiddled with the metallic device for a second and got the thing to open up at the bottom. (loc 68/31%)

I’m sorry, that just reminds me of Larry’s writing student in Throw Momma from the Train: “Dive! Dive!” yelled the Captain through the thing! So the man who makes it dive pressed a button, or a something, and it dove.

Money Quote:

He inched the device in, and smoothly entering it inside me. I let out a gasp followed by a seductive moan. (loc 83/37%)

Dude, you’re clearly at least a sentence past needing to be seductive.

Verdict: It’s available through Kindle Unlimited, so if you can get past the lack of beta-reading, it’s entertaining enough.

Alli-Frogs everywhere.

I’ve seen it pointed out in a few places that Hunter Fox and Whitney Fox publish near-identical, pronoun-switched versions of the same stories, so to test the theory I read a matched set. And, yes, they are identical. allifrogs2

Titles: Punished by the Alli-Frogs (Whitney Fox) and Alli-Frogs from Space Forced Me Gay (Hunter Fox)

What What: An alien species resembling a cross between alligators and frogs have invaded Montana, and the narrator (Jenna in one version, Jason in the other) has opted to stay in their now-abandoned dorm, which quickly floods with horny alli-frogs.


Come Again?

Whitney Fox says:

“Gross.” I muttered as I flung his trash around, including nude magazines he was keeping on his desk. (24%)

I opened my legs for them, letting them see how slippery and wet I was for them. (47%)

Hunter Fox says:

“Gross.” I muttered as I flung her trash around, including makeup she was keeping on his desk. (23%)

After seeing their four throbbing, strong and powerful Alli-Frog dicks before me, I was blown away and needed to fuck them. I instantly was forced gay by their presence. (46%)

I’ve been reading too much bizarre erotica, because when I hit this bit I honestly thought the car was sentient, horny, and used to date the narrator:

From a far, I noticed Nicole’s car, a chick who I had recently dated a few months ago. The lame 1989 two door hatchback was sitting in the clear, far from the flames and yearning to be driven away by me. (20%)

That is, of course, “Nick’s car” in the Whitney Fox version.

The Verdict: These are more or less identical, yes. So there’s no particular reason to read both unless you have an absolute obsession with alli-frogs.