review: The Camp Tentacles

Title: The Camp Tentacles

Author: Lexi Lucia

camp tentacles

WhatWhat: Jasmine’s entire hometown has written her off, so she escapes to a “intensive study camp” where she discovers a group of her fellow campers have been enjoying themselves with a tentacle alien that feeds on “women’s pussy juice.” As opposed to men’s?

Totally Convincing Female Point of View:

The two guys were really hot, and I felt my pussy start to respond in my pants…(loc 60)

Back in the real world, on my bunk, I had cum with my hand. I got a tissue and cleaned up the mess. (loc 83)

Money Quote:

The beast had jammed tentacles into every pussy, asshole and mouth that was there, and it was plowing them at a tremendous pace. (loc 130)

Verdict: That’s a little more closeness than I’d want with my cabin mates, frankly, but I have to admit it would beat the hell out of arts-and-crafts on rainy days. Although I’m a little worried about the alien. Is it happy?

Grammarians from Space Forced Me to Write Properly (and also Turned Me Gay)

This isn’t a review, obviously*, but Grammarians from Space is now available from Amazon (and it’s on Kindle Unlimited, so you can read it for free if you have that).

Quotes:

Thing is, to create enough content to survive you have to write hard, fast, and often. I can’t afford fancy stuff like editors or cover designers.
Lately that had been bugging me. Maybe that’s why the Grammarians showed up to teach my virgin ass a lesson. A lesson about manhood, and standards.

I flash back to how helpless and horny she’d been, obediently locking her ankles behind my neck while I pounded her. Now I’m shivering and twitching, waiting for these alien men to use me the same way I used her. I’m an even sluttier, hornier cum-bucket than Candy was.

* Anything written by the authors associated with this blog can be promoted here, but not formally reviewed.

review: Gay Aliens: Reptilian Rampage

Author: John Ellison

gay aliens

Mirror Image: Dominated by Aliens: Reptilian Rampage by Jeniffer Grant

dominated by aliens

WhatWhat: Three reptilian aliens abduct Mark, and sexually “test” him for a client, warning him that the fate of the entire Earth depends on the client’s approval.

Issues: There’s a misplaced sentence on the second page (it looks like a line from a sex scene got dropped into the wrong spot, somehow), and tense shifts all over the damned place.

I waved my arms around and tried to swim out, but that was completely futile. I guess I should just obey these guys. (loc 40/19%)

Also, why not just say “it looked like a dildo”? Clarity is your friend, authors.

If I wasn’t mistaken, it looked like what I would imagine an alien dildo to look like. (loc 47/22%)

There’s also this:

He fiddled with the metallic device for a second and got the thing to open up at the bottom. (loc 68/31%)

I’m sorry, that just reminds me of Larry’s writing student in Throw Momma from the Train: “Dive! Dive!” yelled the Captain through the thing! So the man who makes it dive pressed a button, or a something, and it dove.

Money Quote:

He inched the device in, and smoothly entering it inside me. I let out a gasp followed by a seductive moan. (loc 83/37%)

Dude, you’re clearly at least a sentence past needing to be seductive.

Verdict: It’s available through Kindle Unlimited, so if you can get past the lack of beta-reading, it’s entertaining enough.

Alli-Frogs everywhere.

I’ve seen it pointed out in a few places that Hunter Fox and Whitney Fox publish near-identical, pronoun-switched versions of the same stories, so to test the theory I read a matched set. And, yes, they are identical. allifrogs2

Titles: Punished by the Alli-Frogs (Whitney Fox) and Alli-Frogs from Space Forced Me Gay (Hunter Fox)

What What: An alien species resembling a cross between alligators and frogs have invaded Montana, and the narrator (Jenna in one version, Jason in the other) has opted to stay in their now-abandoned dorm, which quickly floods with horny alli-frogs.

allifrogs

Come Again?

Whitney Fox says:

“Gross.” I muttered as I flung his trash around, including nude magazines he was keeping on his desk. (24%)

I opened my legs for them, letting them see how slippery and wet I was for them. (47%)

Hunter Fox says:

“Gross.” I muttered as I flung her trash around, including makeup she was keeping on his desk. (23%)

After seeing their four throbbing, strong and powerful Alli-Frog dicks before me, I was blown away and needed to fuck them. I instantly was forced gay by their presence. (46%)

I’ve been reading too much bizarre erotica, because when I hit this bit I honestly thought the car was sentient, horny, and used to date the narrator:

From a far, I noticed Nicole’s car, a chick who I had recently dated a few months ago. The lame 1989 two door hatchback was sitting in the clear, far from the flames and yearning to be driven away by me. (20%)

That is, of course, “Nick’s car” in the Whitney Fox version.

The Verdict: These are more or less identical, yes. So there’s no particular reason to read both unless you have an absolute obsession with alli-frogs.