review: Natalie Goes to Nursery

Are you all sitting comfortably in your safe space? Good. Then we’ll begin.

natalie-goes-to-nursery

Title: Natalie Goes to Nursery

Author: River Belle

WhatWhat: When Natalie is seventeen, her parents die. At eighteen, she sells almost all her possessions and answers an ad to be an adult baby. Unlike the other abdl stories I’ve read (how is this my life??), this one features multiple “babies,” one other girl and two boys, who all crawl around the “nursery” together and also fuck each other. It’s like Muppet Babies if television was filmed in hell, basically.

Money Quotes:

As I cried, I lost control of my bladder totally, giving in to my powerful emotions. Piss flooding my diaper unleashed freely from me. I curled up into a ball on the ground and carried on peeing. Amazingly, my butt did not stay damp for long. The diapers were so good that I could feel the moisture being drawn away from me. (loc 162)

It’s weird how much this is reminding me of the aftermath of the American election.

‘Petey, why don’t you come and say hello to your sister,’ said Daddy. Petey giggled and moved toward me, lying down at my side. Daddy grabbed Petey’s monstrous dick, and carefully rubbed its tip into my engorged pussy. (loc 173)

Verdict: Once you get past the breathtaking soullessness of someone who’d lost both parents a year ago using “mommy” and “daddy” on total strangers she’s having sex with, this is well written and immersive.

That first quote up there about the quality of the diaper was chosen on purpose, because as well as the usual “comforting” elements found in these, there’s a significant dose of luxury porn to be had here. Everything is the best available, the house is a mansion, the hedgerows are immaculate, etc. Natalie isn’t just living out her fantasy; she’s doing it in complete comfort.

review: My Goosebumps Fetish

Sometimes I stumble across the most unexpected things. This is one of those times.

Title: My Goosebumps Fetish

Author: Emilio Amaro

goosebumps

WhatWhat: You think you enjoyed the Goosebumps series, reader, but this guy enjoyed them on a whole other level.

Money Quotes:

The only time I would be allowed to open my mouth was when Slappy entered his wooden cock into my mouth. (loc 23)

I bet that’s not even that unusual a fantasy, really. Shut up.

Slappy
He orders people around, calls them slave, wears a tux…it’s like Fifty Shades of Slappy.

A few times, I would make out with the lawn gnomes that decorated the yards of nearby neighbours and put a ball gag in my mouth while destroying the yards of the neighbourhood, … (loc 27)

Okay, I laughed out loud picturing this. You win, author. Your love of Goosebumps eclipses my own.

But alas, my middle school masturbatory journey came to a sudden halt one morning when my mom came into the kitchen and fount me fucking a carton of eggs as I listened to the audiobook version of Egg Monsters from Mars. (loc 35)

Alas, indeed. I’m even willing to overlook “fount” in my appreciation for that scene.

Verdict: Look, I can’t be the only person who had a slight crush on Slappy, right? But even I never had a thing for the rest of Stine’s creatures. This is worth reading, mostly for the strange blend of childhood nostalgia and brain-searingly adult images. His backlist is truly terrifying, though.

 

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The world of erotica is just begging for an all-male tribute to the Baby-Sitters Club. Am I right?

You know I am.

The Bro-Jobbers’ Club #1: Ken’s Big Throbbing Idea
© Mecha Dahl 2015. All rights reserved.
Cover art created from elements © Can Stock Photo Inc. by Pakhnyushchyy and prometeus.

BROjOBBERS 1


I first get the idea one Friday night, watching my buddy Jim phoning up women in a futile effort to hook up for some uncomplicated sex.
Thing is, Jim’s in a long-term relationship with a beautiful woman, and dude’s incapable of lying. So instead of telling these women they’d broken up or were on a break or something, he was being honest and laying it all out there: he was still in love with Dixie so no, he wasn’t looking for a date-date, just a chance to let off some steam and…by about the third hang-up I was wincing right along with him.

Continue reading The world of erotica is just begging for an all-male tribute to the Baby-Sitters Club. Am I right?