Title: Taken Mini-Golfing
Author: Countess von Fondle
WhatWhat: Amber Avery and Trevor Thor go mini-golfing, and she demonstrates her new skill at swallowing all seven flavours of the rainbow (that is to say, she’s learned how to choke down all of his enormous rainbow unicorn erection). But the perfidy of the press leads to a heartbreaking cliffhanger…
The first headlines had read Trevor Thor, Unicorn Billionaire, Dating Blonde-Haired, Green-Eyed Nobody. Now, the publications knew my name was Amber Avery and had given us the joint name Trevber. (loc 31)
Still more memorable than Anastasia Steele, then.
Who ever thought I’d meet a lesbian raptor sword swallower? (loc 68)
Yeah, that always seems so weird the first time.
My pussy clenched tight, and the ben-wa balls shot out of me like bullets. Somehow, I just knew they’d both landed neatly in the thirteenth hole. (loc 211)
Also a better SHOT than Anastasia Steele.
Verdict: OH NO, NO, NO. My favourite series has ended on a terrible cliffhanger. I was riveted as always, and charmed by little details of Amber’s background (such as her Aunt Stephanie’s children, bless them) and her relationship (“Unicorn sperm is a powerful hallucinogen,” apparently), and then green gummy bear showed up with his camera and I knew, I just knew, that things were about to turn tragic. And I was right. Now all I can do is hope that installment eight puts things to rights again, and that the whole thing emerges in paperback by early November, say, so I can get it to people for Christmas.