review: Pounded by the Gay Color Changing Dress

Author: Chuck Tinglegay color changing dress

What What: That dress–you know, the dress; in this he’s named Channing–rescues narrator Kent from some drunken guy’s unwanted advances outside a bar, then takes him home for sex and declarations of love and a sort of acid-trippy spiritual-ish ending.

Ow:

I need someone who makes a lot of gold, but isn’t afraid to get black and blue when push comes to shove. (location 34)

Money Quote:

The dress is stunning, with a chiseled face and ripped abs across his blue and black front, and the confident manner of his float gives him a manly aggression. (location 93/30%)

Why the Hell Not, I Guess:

The floating black and blue dress is nearby now, getting ready to roll away on his motorcycle. (location 99/31%)

Verdict: Amazing. The sex scenes are unforgettable. Like, you may need therapy to erase these, particularly the bit that’s sort of like a “pearl necklace” only not, because there’s no neck.

There’s all the standard Chuck Tingle overuse of “gay” (intense gay lust; gay, lustful urges; you know the drill), and an even stranger ending than I was prepared for. Probably you should buy this, because nothing I say here is going to adequately convey the strangeness, and it’s definitely entertaining.

review: Trained by the Living Biker Train

Author: Chuck Tingle

What What: An author seeking inspiration for his second book travels cross-country in a train he falls in love with, and has sex with.

…What? Also the train is a biker. As in, a motorcyclist. No, I don’t understand either.

living biker train

Maybe quotes will help:

“Do you ever get a chance to ride?” “Well, I’m a train.” Dylan says, stating the obvious. “So I can’t really ride them very often, my schedule is crazy, you know?” (34%)

Yeah…that’s the problem here: his schedule.

There is no doubt in my mind that the vibe I’ve been picking up between us is highly sexual, but at this point in my life I’m not entirely sure that I’m ready to take on something as daunting as a train/human relationship. (41%-42%)

Well, I guess it’s good that he’s thinking about…that.

Verdict: I’ve come to have a strange appreciation for the madness of Chuck Tingle. Reading his stories is hugely amusing, and slightly addictive. And once again this was “free” under Kindle Unlimited, so how could I resist?

review: Seduced by Doctor Bigfoot, Attorney at Large

doctor bigfoot

Author: Chuck Tingle

What What: A self-taught lawyer by day and heart/brain surgeon by night, bigfoot Nart Bolguk wins the heart and body of lawyer Mark.

No seriously, that’s the plot.

He is shirtless, showing off his ripped bigfoot abs with a stethoscope hanging proudly around his neck, a subtle way of showing off that he is, in fact, a doctor as well as an attorney. (location 54/19%)

I guess “subtle” has a different meaning in the Bigfoot world, or maybe just in Chuck Tingle’s world.

…I can simply sense the presence of Nart, who seems to be psychically exuding the intense, feverish charm of both a doctor and a lawyer wherever he goes. (location 101/35%)

Verdict: It is GLORIOUSLY BATSHIT. It’s every bit as insane as that title and cover would lead you to respect.

I notice Mr. Tingle has taken the time to name his narrator, and given an appropriately Bigfoot-ish name to the monster, suggesting maybe he took some of the Smart Bitches review of Hunter Fox’s work to heart.

He still hasn’t learned how to punctuate dialogue, but you can’t have everything. This may be my second-favorite piece of short monster erotica ever.