review: I Turned Frankenstein’s Monster Gay!

Title: I Turned Frankenstein’s Monster Gay!

Author: V. L. Vance

frankenstein's monster

WhatWhat: This is a seeding story, which means it’s as close to being mpreg as anything can be without being mpreg. As promised during the gill-man installment, I went back to find the “origin story,” such as it is. Logan’s trying to invent a serum that will make straight men fancy him. It explodes all over him, and then he has to go seduce Frankenstein’s monster. Typical day at the lab, really.

Money Quotes:

“It’s alive! It’s alive!” the small, dwarfish man across the table from me screamed, his hands in the air.

“No, he’s not,” I said, pointing at the slumped figure on the table. “It was just a reaction from electric shock. Are you sure you guys are scientists?” (loc 21)

I love a good IT’S ALIVE! scene.

“Igor hungry!” the small dwarf said from his new place on a stool near the wall. “Igor eat!”

“Igor needs not to speak in the third person,” I said, rolling my eyes for probably the tenth time today. (loc 31)

Is there any chance that next year we could get V.L.Vance nominated for a Hugo or something?

Soon his cock was swelling even farther in my mouth. I moaned as he exploded, his batter coating my tonsils like they were a batch of sliced apples begging for a warm brown sugar glaze. (loc 142)

That’s Dr. Frankenstein’s cock, if you were wondering.

“Yes, please, breed me, give me your monster seed. I need it!” (loc 250)

Verdict: I’m devouring these like b-movie flavoured candy. You think that’s not a flavour? It is: it tastes like drive-in movie popcorn and bonfire-roasted marshmallows on the beach and a little bit like coconut oil and sweat.

review: I Turned the Gill-Man Gay!

Title: I Turned the Gill-Man Gay!

Author: V. L. Vance

gill-man gay

WhatWhat: A lab mishap has made Logan irresistible to all men, and if you can’t see how that would be useful on his current mission to capture the gill-man, you haven’t read enough monster erotica. Shame on you.

Money Quotes:

My name is Logan Faraday. After a lab mishap that ended in a minor explosion, men now find me irresistible. Gay and straight alike. Guys just go gay for me. (loc 25)

Clearly I’m going to have to go back and read the first story so I can find out more about this lab mishap.

“The woman said he dragged her to his fishy lair and pumped her full of his slimy seed.” (loc 53)

Sounds like a Tinder date gone badly wrong.

Hanging between its legs was a scaly, long, thick cock, with an angry-looking darker blue cockhead. As it watched us, its cock began to harden. I was already having an effect on it–soon it would be trying to ravage me sexually. (loc 182)

Verdict: From the moment I saw the exclamation point in the title, I knew this was going to be some quality literature. I was not disappointed (though honestly I think Gill-Man’s Girl has a slight edge in terms of the classic-monster-movie vibe of its plot). I actually am a little gillsexual, and I love all homages to B movies, so I enjoyed this enormously.

review: Marvin and the 50 Foot Woman

Title: Marvin and the 50 Foot Woman

Author: France Barnaby

marvin and the 50 foot woman

WhatWhat: Marvin fetishes his Indian-American boss like crazy, so when she unilaterally decides that the best way to demonstrate her shrink ray is to use it on Marvin, he cashes it in to claim a favour: sex.

Warning: There are no fifty foot women in this book. It just feels that way to him because Marvin is eight inches tall.

Money Quote:

Did I spend ten years of my life earning a Ph.D. in physics so that I could wipe the cobwebs off of old computer equipment? In my college years I gave up a social life for the pursuit of higher knowledge. All so I could be melting solder off a circuit board. The only thing that made it worthwhile was seeing Anoushka every day. If it wasn’t for that, I would have quit years ago. I could have become a bum and moved in with my mother. (loc 155)

Verdict: This was cute, and I was especially impressed that the author had thought out the logistics (for example, Marvin feels cold all the time because of the change in his surface-to-volume ratio). As of this writing it’s free on Amazon; not just “Kindle Unlimited” free, but actually free for anyone.